My soft clingy clothes called out to me this week. The Pareo that I wrap into a skirt, the shirred dress that hugs me and the top that only suggests I might behave jumped into my hands and refused to return to their hangers. I pulled on the black tango skirt with the slits up to both my thighs, the one I bought for a lover who silently walked away. I have never worn it for a lover so tonight I will wear if for myself.
I pulled on the skirt and played Black Velvet as I danced a sensuous tango with myself, holding my arms around an unseen lover. Perhaps it was the clothes, perhaps it was the glass of deep red wine I poured into a crystal goblet, or just the music, but I felt more alive than I had in days, perhaps weeks. Perhaps most of a lifetime. Something inside me awoke and the beauty within me danced with the beauty around me.
Maybe this is how I attract love, by becoming love dancing with the love inside me. I have not lost that wild spirit inside me; she has only been waiting for me to remember my deepest secrets, my hidden truth. Waiting for me to heal a life that tried to straighten my curves and spirals, tried to narrow my wideness, and limit my dreams. I have learned to leave those who fear my power in my shadow. This is the me that yearns for a love that embraces and frees, full of passion and grace. You are out there dancing towards me. I am ready.