At times songs reflect deep truths of my life back to me. Right now I am haunted by Breathless by William Prince, its lyrics and melodies wrapping around my heart and catching in my throat. The words “something about your kiss leaves me so helpless, you leave me breathless” echo through me, dancing with a longing that will not dissipate. How can it be wrong to crave a love that moves in harmony with this dance?
While love has not alluded me, so many men in my life have been, as Leonard Cohen said, “just some Joseph looking for a manger” who love what I can give more than who I am. They dangle and jangle their lovely words but disappear into the night when my sensuality frightens them. Or perhaps it is my brilliance that chases them away. I have been told that I am too passionate, too intelligent, too powerful, and too intimidating to find love. Of course, I have also been told that men do not love women who have dogs.
I long to feel that inner swirling and dancing when I walk hand in hand with a lover, knowing that we both believe in miracles. I know someone will come into my life who will hunger for my touch and the sound of my voice and the echo of my heart. Someone who is haunted by the song my soul sings and cannot get that siren call out of their head. Someone who will never use the excuse of being terrified of me as an escape route for their own weakness.
I know this will happen because I have learned to love my scars and bruises as well as my own sensuous passion. I love the way I walk in power in this world without shame or apology. Or explanation. And I love my resilient spirit and wild soul. Because I love myself, I believe, against all odds, romance and love will find me and that I will be wrapped in the power of a loving heart.