Fog

Rarely have I experienced the sea lost in the fog and clouds for days on end. Every day, I walked through changing tides, asking her about the misty and overcast mood, wondering why she was lost in her reflection. Finally, she replied in a low hum that echoed through my heart.

“This is your mood, the one you brought with you, the one you have been trapped in for weeks on end. I am not a reflection of my mood, but of yours.”

My legs moved me forward, but my mind was frozen into those words. How could the ocean be a reflection of my mood? I have indeed been lost in mental turmoil, frightened of the world around me, unsure of what I could or should do, or even who I wanted to be. Each morning, I returned to the ocean, trying to quiet my mind so I could hear her wisdom, but still my mind raced, leaving little space for her words to enter.

The last day was windy and cool, and there was a slight lifting of the dense marine layer. I saw a small pod of dolphins break the surface as they journeyed north. And again, I could hear her deep, low voice. “You are too stiff. Your mind has tightened your body, which in turn has hardened your mind. You are ready to change, demanding a change, and yet resisting the journey. Transformation can happen in a single breath, but only when you have left behind expectations, when you stop demanding that time and space mold to your desires.”

I walked on, waiting, hoping for the guidance I craved, showing me how to walk out of the dark fog of anger-tinged worry. And, after many steps and breaths, I felt her answer. The wind was at my back as I walked into the warmth of the sun. With each step, my heart relaxed and opened. My mind stopped spinning, and my body moved to the rhythm of the waves as I heard her laughing, telling me to, for once, listen to my body and do what warmed my heart.