Funny how gratitude lives at the center of sensuality. The more I sink back into my true self, the more I walk with my power in the world without fear or apology, the more grateful I feel. The sensuality of being present dances with the overwhelming tenderness of gratitude. This flow feels like an exotic tango, each side leading and following, shifting rhythms and harmonies without hesitation. At least sometimes.
I wish I could say that I always stay in a dance of desire and love, appreciation and respect. But sometimes I find myself trapped between emptiness and yearning, between numbness and a craving for something just out of reach, something close to awe. How interesting that Hebrew word so often translated as fear actually means awe, suggesting that we all dance between these two emotions, mistaking perhaps one for the other.
And then I remember that gratitude miraculously opens doorways back to my sensual center, away from fear and closer to awe. It just takes stepping outside to appreciate and be grateful for the beauty of the world around me. I can breathe in and breathe out and stand in awe of my lungs and heart and brain, and all the ways my body functions. I can remember and give thanks for the wonderful adventures of the past year and the profound kindness of family and friends. In fact, I can fill myself with wonder over how blessed my life has been. And then I hear it, the music of gratitude seducing me back into the sensual dance of my soul.
The sense of awe that you referenced in this most recent writing touches upon, by far, one of the deepest, most rewarding aspects I have developed ,of being an artist. The cultivated awareness of the sensual beauty of the world , on any level, scale and place is a requirement to assist in achieving this deeper living that you are speaking of. (One of my most favorite books of the last decade is “A Private History of Awe” by Scott Russell Sanders who gives several of his individual accounts of this opportunity in life we all have. It helped bring into focus my thinking of my earlier time in my own life.)Your spiritual underpinning on these weekly columns is especially appreciated and looked forward to by this regular reader.
Thank you Chuck!