My soft clingy clothes called out to me this week. The Pareo that I wrap into a skirt, the shirred dress that hugs me and the top that only suggests I might behave jumped into my hands and refused to return to their hangers. I pulled on the black tango skirt with the slits up to both my thighs, the one I bought for a lover who silently walked away. I have never worn it for a lover so tonight I will wear if for myself.
I pulled on the skirt and played Black Velvet as I danced a sensuous tango with myself, holding my arms around an unseen lover. Perhaps it was the clothes, perhaps it was the glass of deep red wine I poured into a crystal goblet, or just the music, but I felt more alive than I had in days, perhaps weeks. Perhaps most of a lifetime. Something inside me awoke and the beauty within me danced with the beauty around me.
Maybe this is how I attract love, by becoming love dancing with the love inside me. I have not lost that wild spirit inside me; she has only been waiting for me to remember my deepest secrets, my hidden truth. Waiting for me to heal a life that tried to straighten my curves and spirals, tried to narrow my wideness, and limit my dreams. I have learned to leave those who fear my power in my shadow. This is the me that yearns for a love that embraces and frees, full of passion and grace. You are out there dancing towards me. I am ready.
There was something in the air last night. I too felt and remembered that abandon as I “and the grass won’t pay no mind” came up on my playlist.
Thank you, Charlene for sharing this! It means so much to me to know that my writing touches you in some way.